1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big
    dick or a good memory.

    I don't remember, what I chose.
 
 
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter
    from the condom factory.


3. A wife is a sex object. 
 
    Every time you ask for sex, she objects.


4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard
    feelings...'


5. There are only two four letter words that are

     offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

 
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next
    to the best thing on earth.
 
 
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life:
     Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

 
8. Virginity can be cured.
 

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of
    opportunity.
 
 
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. 
 
      If you don't have a good partner, you'd better
      have a good hand.


11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the
      dialer were too small.


12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
 
 
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?

      A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down
           under.

 
14. A couple just married were happy with the
      whole thing.
 
      He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with
      the Thing...... 


15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a
           mans life?

      A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
 
 
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye
           contact?
 
      A: Breasts don't have eyes.


17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your
      troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!